A bad day.

Smh. So today was a bad day. Since the moment I woke up chores have been piled on me and piled on me. I just finally got the chance to sit down after 5 and a half hours of non stop commands. 

Frankly I hate the fact children are their parents slaves until their 18. Its completely stupid.

I don't even know what to say.

All  I know is I have no actual person who is going to want to hear about my problems, and since I'm trying to maintain stable relationships with all my friends I wont test the waters.

Right now I really just wanna nap.

~Ginger

Anxious for nothing

So I'm sitting here, my friends are all either busy, or I don't want to bother them. My boyfriend has given me no reason to feel this way, but my anxiety is telling me ask if you made him mad, you make everyone mad meanwhile the other half of me, is saying you're just going to annoy him, he doesn't care enough to be mad at you. He's indifferent. And so I'm sitting here anxious, on the verge of a panic attack, debating myself on whether or not to text him. At the same time I'm thinking I'll just text my best friend, he probably wont mind but for some reason I feel like I'll just be annoying him too. So I'm just sitting here, my anxiety rising, and I have no idea what to do, part of me wants to just say Hey, my anxiety is acting up right now, you too busy to talk? But my anxiety is saying Tmi, he doesn't want to know, neither of them do. They wont care. You'll just be bothering them with more of your stupid problems. I'm literally on the verge of tears, and for what? Because they seemed busy last I texted them? What kind of an excuse is that for me to react this way. People get busy. By all rational thought I should just text them in a few hours once they probably wont be busy, why cant my anxiety handle that answer? JEEZ. Why cant I  handle that answer.

~Ginger

In the eye

So I wrote a song, several actually but heres one. Enjoy ig.

You looked my in the eye

Dead in the eye

I said are you alright?

And you told me a lie

I looked you dead in the eye

And asked if you had just lied

You said you did not

You said you loved me so

I took your hand and ran through the grass

And you looked me in the eye

But in the blink of my eyes

Im all alone

The grass has just died

And your hands arent in mine

And I wonder what was the purpose of all of this

What did I do to deserve this?

I stand in the cold, the winters set in

I see you standing there

So far away

Standing with my family

And I’m standing here

In the cold in the winter

Here where you left me

And I’m turning bitter

Oh, but you held my hand

And I wish somehow you could have lied just a little longer

I can’t say its worth it its really not

Now theres a blizzard

Youre cuddling my best friend

And I’m standing in the corner by the basketball hoop

And I see you hold her and her hold you

And I wonder why I ever loved you

The blizard it passes but you still stand where I once stood

Tell my best friend a joke I probably wouldn’t have understood

Spring has set in

And others smiles are setting in

Rosey cheeks disappearing and shorts coming in

But here i still stand

Watching in disbelief

That the boy I once loved

Now had my best friend

Spring has set in

But here I still stand

Pain on my sleeve, my hearts there too

Soon the grass came back

But your hands never did

Here I still stand

Frozen in time

You’ve moved on

But why cant I

Why cant I.

I hope you enjoyed. Lol.